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To the Ladies of Room 219

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  • Sep 25, 2010
    To the Ladies of Room 219

    Special thanks tonight go out to the ladies of Denison University's Kappa Alpha Theta sorority.  Let me explain.

     

    After most shows, we have to hop into the bus and head to the next city.  Often, we rent a couple of hotel rooms so that guys can get cleaned up before we pack into the buses to head out.  That's what happened tonight after the (fantastic) show in Newark, Ohio.  Ryan, DR, and I were the last of our bus to get to the hotel before we were to roll on to Fort Wayne, Indiana.  DR stepped into one hotel room, and Ryan stepped into the adjacent room.  Each was in the shower shortly.  I shouted to each through their respective bathroom doorways about what my twitter name was going to be (we'd been brainstorming all day; you'll all find out shortly).  DR was out first, so I hopped into the shower in that room.  I will attempt to piece together the events of what transpired next from various eyewitness accounts.

     

    See, Green had assumed that, since both doors were held open by leaving the security latch engaged while closing the door, that both rooms were ours.  This was, and remains, a fair assumption.  Since ten of us were sharing the two rooms, neither DR, Green, nor myself had keys to the rooms.  

     

    Green was sorely mistaken.

     

    As I am getting dressed (apparently I am a quick showerer compared to Green), I hear all kinds of high-pitched commotion - nervous laughter with a dash of fear - coming from the hallway.  Apparently, the very kind and possibly overly-trusting ladies of the Theta house at Denison had been rehearsing for Anchor Splash, which, according to Google, is some sort of aquatic-themed philanthropic event.  (Think Easter Seals telethon crossed with The Little Mermaid.)  They had been utilitzing the hotel pool and were discussing their routine with some fellow anchor-droppers across the hall.  When they returned to their room, they were surprised, dismayed, and terrified to find one Ryan Louis Ahlwardt, clad only in a towel, brushing his teeth in their bathroom.  

     

    Honestly, this is difficult to type through my laughter.

     

    Equally terrified was young Mr. Ahlwardt.  For those of you who don't know Green that well, there are few more well-mannered, chivalrous, or respectful first-tenor a cappella singers out there.  Most of the high-pitched nervousness and fear that I heard was from Green; nervousness for having offended and embarrassed these innocent, chaste young debutantes; fear that they would (as they probably should) alert the authorities to the uninvited presence of this near-albino trespasser who had violated the sanctity of the covenant of their sisterhood. 

     

    Back to the facts:  as these polite young Ohioans entered THEIR hotel room, they asked Green, "Um...what are you doing in our room?!?"  Green, with toothbrush hanging halfway out of his mouth (all true), responded something like, "Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh."  After catching what he could of his breath and his wits, he said, "I swear I'm not a creeper.  Let me change right now and I'll explain everything."  If I wasn't clear before, Ryan was wearing only a towel.  And he was brushing his teeth.  

     

    At this point, what seemed to be the entire Beta Tau chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta had assembled in the hallway.  Green, now clothed, explained that we were in "an a cappella group called Straight No Chaser," that we had just played a show down the road, and were about to embark for our next stop in Indiana.  Theta # 1 - I didn't get her name - responded, "I just tried out for an a cappella group!"  Note:  if Straight No Chaser has any pull in the a cappella community at Denison University, I suggest this aspiring young vocalist be accepted unconditionally into any group.  You'll know Theta # 1 by the fresh SNC business card I handed her in an awkward effort to lend some credibility to what must have seemed an outrageous explanation from Green.

     

    Through Green's disarming charm and the kind understanding of the Theta ladies, disaster and potential misdemeanor charges were averted.  Green and I nearly sprinted back to the bus so we could recount this true-life comedy of errors to our busmates.  

     

    My hope in writing this blog is that one or more of the ladies of Denison University's Kappa Alpha Theta house will visit our site and read our perspective on what must have been an unusual night, to say the least.  Should they reach out to us, perhaps we could remediate the shock of seeing a half-naked Ryan Ahlwardt by sending them a CD.

     

    Or at least returning their towel.

     

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Don_3's picture
on 25 September 2010 - 1:56am

Special thanks tonight go out to the ladies of Denison University's Kappa Alpha Theta sorority.  Let me explain.

 

After most shows, we have to hop into the bus and head to the next city.  Often, we rent a couple of hotel rooms so that guys can get cleaned up before we pack into the buses to head out.  That's what happened tonight after the (fantastic) show in Newark, Ohio.  Ryan, DR, and I were the last of our bus to get to the hotel before we were to roll on to Fort Wayne, Indiana.  DR stepped into one hotel room, and Ryan stepped into the adjacent room.  Each was in the shower shortly.  I shouted to each through their respective bathroom doorways about what my twitter name was going to be (we'd been brainstorming all day; you'll all find out shortly).  DR was out first, so I hopped into the shower in that room.  I will attempt to piece together the events of what transpired next from various eyewitness accounts.

 

See, Green had assumed that, since both doors were held open by leaving the security latch engaged while closing the door, that both rooms were ours.  This was, and remains, a fair assumption.  Since ten of us were sharing the two rooms, neither DR, Green, nor myself had keys to the rooms.  

 

Green was sorely mistaken.

 

As I am getting dressed (apparently I am a quick showerer compared to Green), I hear all kinds of high-pitched commotion - nervous laughter with a dash of fear - coming from the hallway.  Apparently, the very kind and possibly overly-trusting ladies of the Theta house at Denison had been rehearsing for Anchor Splash, which, according to Google, is some sort of aquatic-themed philanthropic event.  (Think Easter Seals telethon crossed with The Little Mermaid.)  They had been utilitzing the hotel pool and were discussing their routine with some fellow anchor-droppers across the hall.  When they returned to their room, they were surprised, dismayed, and terrified to find one Ryan Louis Ahlwardt, clad only in a towel, brushing his teeth in their bathroom.  

 

Honestly, this is difficult to type through my laughter.

 

Equally terrified was young Mr. Ahlwardt.  For those of you who don't know Green that well, there are few more well-mannered, chivalrous, or respectful first-tenor a cappella singers out there.  Most of the high-pitched nervousness and fear that I heard was from Green; nervousness for having offended and embarrassed these innocent, chaste young debutantes; fear that they would (as they probably should) alert the authorities to the uninvited presence of this near-albino trespasser who had violated the sanctity of the covenant of their sisterhood. 

 

Back to the facts:  as these polite young Ohioans entered THEIR hotel room, they asked Green, "Um...what are you doing in our room?!?"  Green, with toothbrush hanging halfway out of his mouth (all true), responded something like, "Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh."  After catching what he could of his breath and his wits, he said, "I swear I'm not a creeper.  Let me change right now and I'll explain everything."  If I wasn't clear before, Ryan was wearing only a towel.  And he was brushing his teeth.  

 

At this point, what seemed to be the entire Beta Tau chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta had assembled in the hallway.  Green, now clothed, explained that we were in "an a cappella group called Straight No Chaser," that we had just played a show down the road, and were about to embark for our next stop in Indiana.  Theta # 1 - I didn't get her name - responded, "I just tried out for an a cappella group!"  Note:  if Straight No Chaser has any pull in the a cappella community at Denison University, I suggest this aspiring young vocalist be accepted unconditionally into any group.  You'll know Theta # 1 by the fresh SNC business card I handed her in an awkward effort to lend some credibility to what must have seemed an outrageous explanation from Green.

 

Through Green's disarming charm and the kind understanding of the Theta ladies, disaster and potential misdemeanor charges were averted.  Green and I nearly sprinted back to the bus so we could recount this true-life comedy of errors to our busmates.  

 

My hope in writing this blog is that one or more of the ladies of Denison University's Kappa Alpha Theta house will visit our site and read our perspective on what must have been an unusual night, to say the least.  Should they reach out to us, perhaps we could remediate the shock of seeing a half-naked Ryan Ahlwardt by sending them a CD.

 

Or at least returning their towel.

 

Comments

Diva_Donna's picture

"The New Guy" That's gotta be the twitter name/nickname.
Alexsandra's picture

my favorite line... "this near-albino trespasser who had violated the sanctity of the covenant of their sisterhood."
Diva_Donna's picture

There are business cards?
Alexsandra's picture

Great descriptive writing! Love it, love it!! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh..... I can somehow hear Ryan saying that. Priceless. I hope they listen to your CD someday. They'll be telling the story for years! And so will you!
S.J.'s picture

I can't even type...lol...
S. Brandon's picture

Dang... the new guy blogs as well as Ryan...about Ryan! This could be very interesting. ;-) Don, thanks for sharing. You told us this in confidence, right, so that Ryan wouldn't be any more embarrassed than he already was? That was so kind of you. If there was any doubt, I think we can now say that you are a good fit for SNC. I hope the hotel didn't charge Miss Theta for the missing towel.
waterfallprincess's picture

Hey Don, you're good! This is very vivid. We'll be watching for that Twitter name! :o) And awww Ryan! Thank you for letting him share this! hahaha! I hope they stop by, too. He was telling the truth!
klancy96's picture

Wow. just wow. speechless. lol Don- awesome blog! Ryan- poor you! What a crazy day this must have been!
ChaserJulie's picture

Tooooo Funny! I'm sure this story will get a lot of mileage with the group!!! Thanks for the blog, Don!!
Joanie_2's picture

OH MY H----!!! I have to read that again!
Kerri_2's picture

Oh.My. HAHAHAHA. Poor Ryan...though, in the spirit of Motel 6, "S.N.C....we'll keep the towel on for ya"
Annie L's picture

Thanks for recounting that experience for us, Don (BTW, can't wait to see what your Twittername will be...!)! A thorough description that painted quite a picture for us...Ryan - OMG is right. Poor you!
Shaina's picture

OH. MY. GOD.
Sarah Liz's picture

Oh. My. Goodness. WOW. (by the way, fabulous blog, Don... thank you for sharing!)

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