This thread is in response to the vacuum question on SNCTAT, and Walt's suggestion that we should start a thread making up our own stories. So here it is. My stories are really cheesy, I'm not as creative as most of you lol. Please feel free to post your stories, can't wait to read everyone's!
Mike Biglesby and the Deathly Vacuum
There was once a handsome lad named Mike, who lived in a dusty house.
One scorching summer afternoon, Mike was sitting on his front porch sipping on his lemonade. Suddenly, he heard the ice cream truck in the distance, and took off after the truck. Seven minutes later, Mike returned with five Klondike bars in hand. With a look of content on his face, Mike began to devour the bars.
Just as he was licking the last bit of crumbs off of his fingers, he heard a loud thud coming from the house. “Now, who could that be?” Mike asked as he got up and walked into the house. Once in the house, he could hear noises coming from the attic. As Mike made his way up the stairs to the attic, he quickly grabbed the closest thing that he could use as a weapon – a ladybug umbrella.
Slowly and warily he opened the attic door, and out sprung a giant vacuum hose! The hose knocked him to the floor, slithered around him and hissed. Then before he knew it, the hose had wrapped around him and was dragging him back into the attic. Panicked, Mike slashed the hose with the umbrella, and was able to break free of its grasp. He ran down the stairs and out the front door. The deathly vacuum hose pursued.
Once in the front yard, the vacuum began sucking up pebbles and firing them at Mike, who opened the ladybug umbrella in order to defend himself. But within minutes, the umbrella was tattered. Mike quickly looked around for more artillery, and saw a thorny blackberry hedge nearby. He took out his pocket knife and chopped several branches off the hedge. He threw the thorny branches into the vacuum hose. The deathly vacuum hissed in pain and retreated. Mike threw more branches into hose, the hose hissed again, this time pleadingly. Mike picked up the hose and said, “I will let you go under one condition – you’ll have to clean my house for me.” Reluctantly, the hose nodded, and Mike let go of it. Slowly, the hose slithered back into the house, defeated. The deathly vacuum cleaned the dust off the entire house.
Mike returned to his front porch with a grin on his face, as a kaleidoscope of colours flooded the sunsetting sky (Luginbill). He was a handsome lad, living in a dusty house no more.
Now here’s a more likely story
Mike had lost the bet to Ryan on who could eat the most hot dogs in 15 minutes. It was a close competition, 20 for Mike and 22 for Ryan. Mike probably would have won if he didn’t pass out in the last 30 seconds. The punishment for the person who lost was to vacuum the tour buses, both married and non-married buses.
Mike looked alarmed as Korby took out the triple-power vacuum from the closet on the bus. It was the largest vacuum he had ever seen in his life. Korby handed Mike the vacuum and went off to join Ryan in celebrating his hot dog victory, leaving poor Mike alone on the bus. Reluctantly, he switched on the vacuum and started cleaning. There were pizza crumbs everywhere, and about 15 empty cans of Red Bull under Seggie’s seat. Shaking his head, Mike threw the cans in the recycling box. Within 20 minutes, the bus looked sparkling clean, thanks to the mighty triple-power vacuum.
Feeling quite accomplished, Mike dragged the vacuum over to the married bus. He began vacuuming, while humming “Her Town Too.” Then as he bent over to pick up an empty cup, his hair was caught in the vacuum hose. He tried to pry the hose off of his head, but it was not an easy feat against a triple-power vacuum. There he was lying on the floor, wrangling with the vacuum hose. It seemed like the harder he pulled, the tighter the hose was on his head. He tried to turn off the vacuum, but the switch was somehow stuck. He started to scream, “Help!! Help!!! Somebody!!!! Anybody??!?!” He yanked on the cord, but the plug remained in the outlet, which was all the way on the other side of the bus. Slowly and painfully, Mike crawled towards outlet. Just as he was about to give up, Walt came on the bus to get his jacket. “What on earth are you doing?!?” Walt exclaimed. Mike pointed to the outlet and gasped, “Help!” Walt quickly pulled the plug out, and saved the day. Mike collapsed on the floor, and grumbled, “I’m NEVER eating hot dogs again, EVER!”
Thanks, ToriCanuck!!! It was great fun to write!
I absolutely love your story, Judy!! It's simply brilliant. In fact, if they ever get tired of telling their story of how they got started, they should tell this story lol!
Love it. And I love how you included everyone in the story :P
Once upon a time, at a struggling PBS station, the employees were getting ready for the biweekly telethon. It was one in the morning, but the entire staff was still busily working. Usually at that time of night the only person around was Mike, whose job it was to keep the studios clean. Unfortunately, because of budgetary restraints, the vacuum that Mike used was old and incredibly noisy.
Stop that dangblasted noise, said Walt, the program director. The talent cant concentrate with all that ruckus! The talent included Ryan, the author of the bestseller, Native Walruses of Fishers, Indiana. Also on hand were the hosts of the stations back-to-back highly rated cooking shows: wholesome Tyler who hosted One Million Recipes for Corn and Seggie, the infamous host of the breakfast show Bacon and Seggs.
Down the hall, Randy was taping a segment of Parenting with the Pros, hosted by Charlie. The show had to be taped at night because that was the only time Hayden was awake. The sound of the ancient vacuum frightened Hayden and Charlie, who both cried bitterly.
Mike tried to vacuum more quietly, but the machine just would not cooperate. He moved away from the staging area and went to clean the corporate offices. He ran into the same problem there. How can I crunch these numbers!?! exclaimed DR, the CFO. They just dont add up! Don, in the legal department, shook his fist at Mike as he tried to write writs.*
Poor Mike couldnt catch a break! He went to clean an office that was usually empty. Tonight, however, Rome who was the M.C. of the telethon was practicing his routine in the office. The noise from the vacuum startled Rome so much, his version of the splits was a near disaster.
The only way Mike could think of to mask the noise was to sing over it. So he began, On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me One by one, the other people at the station joined in and soon, everyone was singing along. They messed up the song a little bit, but no one cared. Little did they know that Randy had forgotten to turn off the video camera and the whole performance had been taped.
When the telethon continued the next day a tape of the special, Atlantic City on $10,000 a Day was scheduled. However, the wrong tape was shown, and the entire community got to view the tape of Mike and the staff singing The Twelve Days of Christmas. The phones were jammed and the telethon was a rousing success. The rest, as they say, is history.
*(No idea what that means, but it sounds funny).
HAHAHA! Love it Lisa! Sounds a little painful though, poor guy lol!
Here is what I think happened.
Mike was sleeping in his bed on the bus. Randy, Walt, Ryan and Seggie thought it would be funny to scare him by putting the vacuum in the bed and turning it on.The guys hit the "on" button and then ran back to the lounge area. When the vacuum came on and it startled him.
He jumped up from a dead sleep an banged his head on the top of the bunk knocking himself out cold.The guys then put the vacuum away so maybe Mike would think it was just a dream. Mike is normally very laid back, but the guys think it is funny to go turn on the vacuum and watch Mike immediately go into fight mode.
Of course, you know this can't be true because I am sure they never prank each other....right? ;)
ALL of this GREAT and CREATIVE story writing, and imagination!...
...and I still got nuttin'!
Keep up the great work ladies. Too funny! :-D
@CailinAingeal - I love your story! So hilarious! I think you should give him a new pair of lucky socks at the next M&G lol.
@Gine - Great story! I was thinking of including Yogi and his golf clubs in my stories too lol. #GMTA ;)
Keep them coming people!
woops.... guess I should have entered that story in reverse.... sorry....
could not stop his powerful swing from colliding with the touchpad on the top of the machine where the "full bin indicator" was lit up. As he landed the blow that felled the robotic beast, the head of the club had struck the release lever of the now full bin. Needless to say, there accompanied this massive whack a terrifying gasp at the realization of cause and effect. Fortunately he was able to close his mouth and eyes before the explosion of dust and debris. Covered from head to toe in a fine, dirty snow, along with much of his furnishings, Mike knelt down over what remained of a once brilliant idea and pulled from the rubbish, Chewy, Yogi's favorite toy. He set it before his best friend, who had taken refuge under the dining room table. Yogi emerges, puzzled as to the events that transpired before his puppy eyes. But the moment he sees his toy, his Chewy... well, what remains of him.... he lunges toward Mike, tail wagging uncontrollably, and gives his pet a shower of kisses.
In moving from room to room, the Roomba, so aptly named, roamed over the wet carpet in the dining room and must have shorted out it sensors or something. For it was determined to to consume Yogi's favorite toy. Furious, Yogi began barking incessantly. He wasn't sure if he should attempt to free his "Chewy" from the clutches of this mad machine. Mike, upon hearing the cries of his beloved pooch, ran to his aid. Try as he might, Mike was unable to turn off the now possessed vacuum. For every move Mike made, the Roomba made another, smarter maneuver.... "He won't be able to reach me under here." Poor Yogi sat helplessly by as the he watched Chewy being dragged about, held hostage by this merciless machine. Mike could see the despair in Yogi's big, brown, beautiful eyes. In a last ditch attempt to save Chewy from Roomba, Mike ran to his hall closet looking for anything that would destroy this malfunctioning mechanical monster of man's making. Then he saw them..... his golf clubs!
Mike pondered to himself, "Putter, chipper - too small. My driver? Shoot! He'll be here at 6! The 9 iron? Maybe a wedge?" Then he saw it. A beam of light from the afternoon sun had passed over his shoulders causing the metal of his hybrid to sparkle - it's as if the heavens had spoken. TaylorMade had come to their Rescue.
With the moves of a jungle cat, he swiped the club out of his bag. Glancing over his shoulder he could see the Roomba taunting him with all it's twisting and turning. Mike fixed his eyes on the device, regretting ever bring that bloody thing home, intent on it demise. And with one swift stroke he........
I'd like to think that Mike was being heroic.....
Mike, being the helpmate that he is, decided he would do whatever he could to help out around the house even when he was on the road. So he ran over to Target (the one I work at of course!) and purchased a Roomba. It's perfect - HEPA filter, scheduling, self charging, and pet hair removal. He figured it would be one less chore for his girlfriend to do. But what he didn't factor in was how much Yogi would like it...... or NOT!
The introduction between the two was tense at best. Yogi was cautiously suspicious of the apparatus that most closely resembled a frisbee.... But the moment Mike turned the vacuum on, Yogi dashed around the house in panic, slipping all over the kitchen floor and spilling his water. Once he was back on the carpet, he hurdled the coffee table on to the sofa whimpering in fear. Mike tried to be reassuring to his beloved pet, so he sat there consoling him with tender pats on his back, scritches on his ears - he even tried the belly rub. Yogi would have no part of it. He simply could not figure out this self propelled intruder. They remained on the sofa for the better part of the afternoon. Watching the Roomba move to and fro, hither and yon, in and out, under and around. Yogi eventually lost interest and fell asleep. Mike was now free to clean up the spill and continue working on his new album. The time inside his home studio was short lived though. Yogi had been rudely awakened by this piercing, whirling scream. In all the chaos that ensued shortly after turning on said device, Mike overlooked the amount of water spilled and where it had spread to.... on the dining room carpet, which also happens to be where Yogi left his favorite chew toy....
These stories are absolutely amazing! Great job! :)
very good imagery in both scenarios
LOL @ all the Red Bull cans under Seggie's seat and the ladybug umbrella. Hilarious!
@CailinAingeal - LOL! I enjoyed that! Thanks for posting it!
Such talented Chaser writers!
I can actually picture the second scenario (without the hot dogs).
Or it could have happened something like this
It was the morning SNC headed back on tour for more concert dates. Mike was all packed and ready to go, well almost ready. He could only find one of his lucky socks. Mike knew it was silly to believe they were lucky but somehow they had been on every tour since the beginning. It was kind of like having an old friend along for the ride.
Mike had spent the past two hours looking for the missing sock. He searched his sock drawer four times before moving on to the closet and then looked under the bed. He thought for a moment and remembered that sometimes socks were lost in the dryer. Mike checked the dryer in hopes that whatever created mismatched socks had returned his lucky one; however, his search was to no avail.
Coming to terms with the fact that he would have to leave without his lucky socks Mike pulled out the vacuum cleaner. He wanted to give his house quick cleaning before going out the door. At first, the hum of the vacuum was comforting, but quickly the gentle hum turned into a high-pitched whine. Mike pulled the vacuum out from under the sofa to discover it was trying to eat his lucky sock. Without thinking, he reached down to retrieve his missing sock, instantly it became a game of tug-of-war. The vacuums bristles grabbed at the material sucking it further into the machine. Noticing smoke was starting to come out of the motor Mike thought it best if he turned the vacuum cleaner off.
Defeated but not broken Mike straightened a wire hanger to retrieve the sock that was now stuck in the hose of the vacuum. After several tries, he was able to fish out his lucky sock, which now more resembled Swiss cheese with all its battle scars. As his eyes started to water, he reminded himself that thing such as lucky socks were silly. Although, Mike did consider buying a new vacuum once returned home.
haha, Tori, those are really funny. I hope Mike gets a chance to read those :)
"...Not as creative as most of you"? What are you talking about?!!!! Those are two of the most creative stories I have read!! - "A lady bug umbrella" - LOL! " ...While humming "Her Town Too"! (LOVE that duet with Ryan, btw!)
Too funny!
...on the other hand...I got nothin'!